i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
