you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
