Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
