they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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