So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
