Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just pee around me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
