After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
