great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
