He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am midnight drunk by noon
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
