my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
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