Non-Jews are for practice
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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