Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So much rum. So many feels.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
