My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
