that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
