I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
