Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
