The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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