I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
