I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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