I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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