Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
