I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
