does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
