my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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