all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
