I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
