i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Floor bacon is actually really good
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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