You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
so much tequila, so little girl.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
