My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There are leaves in my underwear?
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