But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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