Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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