he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
