R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
