So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
