i would punch a child for taco bell
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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