I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
