My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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