Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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