I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
