i already hear my dad disowning me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dear god my vagina.
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