so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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