im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
