oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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