Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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