Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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