So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
