so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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