Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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