I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Randomize
