He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
