I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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